1. alwaysalwayssomething: I got featured on my schools website. My blog talks about my eating disorders. My parents are reading this as we speak. This is more than your usual Monday links. “This means admitting to the kids in high school that I never really felt like I belonged. This means the world can read that I always felt different. This means my political opinions are suddenly attached to a living, breathing being with plenty of flaws. This means admitting what I actually think about. This means my acquaintances might think me flightly or frivolous because I’m not always discussing economic development or occupy or urban cores. This means my extended family possibly gossiping about my mental state, or how I’m not so perfect after all. Finally, this means my parents might read about nights that I spent nights lying in my bed, not quite about to push my body into another session of vomiting but silently crying and hating myself because I hate fried chicken. This means owning up to years of disordered eating that I somehow thought would make up for exercise. This might mean an awkward conversation or two. But this means change. This means my father knowing that when I tell him I’m mocking everything he says, I’m actually just sharing them because I think he’s the coolest father ever. This means my mother realizing that maybe my interests aren’t actually all that different from hers, because she shaped me & I love her for it. This means every part of me actually owns what I say.”

    alwaysalwayssomething:

    I got featured on my schools website. My blog talks about my eating disorders. My parents are reading this as we speak. This is more than your usual Monday links.

    “This means admitting to the kids in high school that I never really felt like I belonged.
    This means the world can read that I always felt different.
    This means my political opinions are suddenly attached to a living, breathing being with plenty of flaws.
    This means admitting what I actually think about.
    This means my acquaintances might think me flightly or frivolous because I’m not always discussing economic development or occupy or urban cores.
    This means my extended family possibly gossiping about my mental state, or how I’m not so perfect after all.
    Finally, this means my parents might read about nights that I spent nights lying in my bed, not quite about to push my body into another session of vomiting but silently crying and hating myself because I hate fried chicken. This means owning up to years of disordered eating that I somehow thought would make up for exercise.
    This might mean an awkward conversation or two.

    But this means change.
    This means my father knowing that when I tell him I’m mocking everything he says, I’m actually just sharing them because I think he’s the coolest father ever.
    This means my mother realizing that maybe my interests aren’t actually all that different from hers, because she shaped me & I love her for it.
    This means every part of me actually owns what I say.”

Notes

  1. unfurl reblogged this from alwaysalwayssomething
  2. alwaysalwayssomething posted this

About me

"i didn't rest, i didn't stop."

eye liner. legwarmers.
light-up yo-yo's.
memory of steel.
firecracker.
freckles. kissing. bikes.
pretending. longing. leaving.

"I try not to look at her so I don't get blinded by the earnestness."